I have come to the conclusion after reading an excerpt on binge eating disorders, that I am a binge eater.
Dieting has made me into a binge eater.
It’s crazy to think about, but the idea of “cheat days” in my brain is eat whatever I want as fast as I can in one day. These one day ideas have turned into multiple days, and then into weeks.
I eat until I feel sick to my stomach, like I’m about to puke and then I continue eating. Only maybe a few times have I actually made myself vomit from eating too much. Christmas to be exact, I remember vomiting twice in one meal.
Now, I spend like a week eating like shit, and then make myself feel guilty every single time. I sit there, with deep pains in my stomach and tell myself I won’t don’t it tomorrow.
Today didn’t go well already. This morning without even knowing I did it, I ate candy. I didn’t even know it happened until I got into my car. Then when I got back home, I shoved a few chocolate covered gummy bears in my mouth.
I managed to eat some chobani, and fruit so that was good. But I’m honestly scared for the rest of the day.
I’m starting to read about it online, but it basically is all up to me. It’s always been up to me, and I keep failing myself.
I need help.
I was looking up Bariatric Surgery (aka weight-loss surgery) and discovered I’m actually not fat enough.
Acceptable BMI’s are 40 and above. I’m 39. lol.
I love my Polar FT4, I do! But it doesn’t show the seconds on the clock face and I really need that sometimes.
I’ve been looking at polar, obviously, but Timex apparently makes some good ones too.
I’ve been doing good, despite doing so bad.
I’m hovering around 251 everyday, despite my interesting diet I’ve been working with lately.
It’s actually been good. I eat healthy and of course indulge every once in awhile. I don’t beat myself up over eating out and having some good food when I want. The only one to do that is my stomach. lol. It’s been dealing with the changes in it’s own interesting ways.
Before my switch to low carb a few years ago, I went through a period in my life where we didn’t really know what was going on with my stomach. I went to a few doctors, and had a camera shoved down my throat, but nothing conclusive. I wasn’t a celiac, but that’s why I believe in the idea of gluten sensitivity, as my stomach pain subsided with my diet change to low carb and the absence of carbs/ anything really gluten ish.
So that being said, I experienced one of my stomach aches the other day. It was so intense, just like I had remembered it. So, I’m choosing to eat differently, but I also have to remember that there’s sometimes consequences with the choices I make. Days of eating all carbs are out, but things like whole grains and fruits and veggies are in. Carb-cycling is in, as it helps me limit the number of bad carbs I eat, and keep me eating my veggies and greek yogurt.
I’m still using MyFitnessPal to track, but this time trying to follow it’s guidelines for intake.
I loved keto. I really did, the results the first time around were astonishing, but it’s not something that I am happy with anymore. I want to be able to eat my fruits, as berries are my favorite, and I want the flexiblility that calorie limiting can offer.
I’m not saying that keto is bad, it’s awesome really, but for me it’s not something I see as a lifelong commitment considering I have struggled to stay on it for about 3 years now.
Thank you keto, for helping me lose 50lbs over the past 3 years, but it’s time for something new :)
Bourbon BBQ Pork Ribs
Recipe from George Stella’s STILL LIVIN’ LOW CARB cookbook
Prep Time 20 min/ Cook Time 2 ½ -3 hrs/ Serves 8
4 to 5 pounds country-style pork ribs
Salt and black pepper
2 cups water
BOURBON BBQ SAUCE
1 (15-ounce) can tomato sauce
3 ounces tomato paste
1 ounce bourbon, may omit
1 tablespoon white vinegar
1 tablespoon liquid smoke
2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
3⁄4 teaspoon hot sauce
1⁄2 cup bulk sugar substitute
2 tablespoons minced red onion
1 small garlic clove, minced
1⁄2 teaspoon onion powder
1⁄8 teaspoon garlic powder
1 +1⁄2 teaspoons kosher salt
1⁄2 teaspoon black pepper
1. Place the rack in the center of the oven and preheat the oven to 290°F.
2. Season the ribs generously with salt and pepper on both sides and then place in a deep roasting pan just large enough to fit the ribs in a single layer.
3. Whisk together all Bourbon BBQ Sauce ingredients until well combined.
4. Pour 1 cup barbecue sauce and 2 cups water over the ribs until they’re almost completely submerged. If needed, add more sauce and water until covered or use a smaller pan.
5. Cover tightly with aluminum foil and bake for about 2 ½ to 3 hours until the meat is nearly falling off the bone
6. Remove, drain the ribs immediately, and coat with the remaining ½ cup barbecue sauce.
7. Preheat a grill to high. Grill the ribs for just a few minutes on each side before serving.
If you find you don’t plan on grilling immediately, refrigerate the precooked ribs and bring then finish them on the grill whenever you’re ready.
Calories:450|Fat: 26g|Protein: 45g|Fiber: 1.5g|Net Carbs: 4g
I should probably explain why I’m detouring from my excellent progress.
This weekend is my 23rd birthday. I am going up to Syracuse with Adam to go and stay with Todd for a few days to celebrate and have fun. Thursday to Saturday is basically just gonna be us smoking and eating all day, so I decided to wait one more week until I start the carb cycle process. I’m really bad at sticking to my diet around the boys. They always eat the best stuff and I’m so tempted.
I started this week off with eating everything and anything I wanted. But I feel sick and gross and don’t want to be that way for the weekend so I’m deff gonna cut back again. Meals. Think meals not snacks Liz.
Ugh. I feel gross and it’s funny cause I know I would.
I’m feeling tired for no reason, my stomach is in constant pain and I’ve eaten so much food over the last 3 days I can’t even fathom.
I struggle a lot with cheat days. I lose my sense of fullness and instead of eating like 3 or 4 meals I just snack all day long on sugary foods.
I never eat healthy foods on cheat days, always candies and baked goods and just things full of sugar and gluten.
I don’t know how to eat like a regular person any more. I binge eat or I don’t eat. It’s not good. Which is why I legit have to stick to a diet. I don’t know any other way.
Today is the last day of the March Meltdown.
Last night I avoided the temptations, and actually put them aside so I could eat them today lol.
This morning I weighed in on my scale at 243.2 and in the official weigh-in at 245.0 lbs.
Total loss: 9.5 lbs
I’m a bit sad. I deff lost more than that but it’s ok. I’m gonna keep going. Not let me down! Keep working out! Keep fighting to be fit.
Currently I am sitting in the last nutrition class. Today’s subject is Detoxing. Aka don’t care. So I’m typing this up and eating a bagel and kinish. Take that carbs.
Made my favorite fat bomb again!
Keto bounty bar recipe!
- 70g sweetener (I used erythritol)
- 50g coconut oil
- 100 ml coconut milk
- 100 ml whipping cream
- 200g shredded coconut, unsweetened
- 100g dark chocolate (I used 92%)
1. Melt the sweetener and the coconut oil in a pan.
2. Add the coconut milk and the whipping cream and mix until combined.
3. Take the pan of the heat and add the shredded coconut and mix.
4. Let your mix cool down and put it in the fridge for an hour. If you leave it in longer the mixture is easier to work with in my opinion, but it’s not neccesary.
5. After an hour in the fridge the mixture is hardened and you can form around 20 bars out of it.
6. Put the bars in the freezer for an hour.
7. Melt the chocolate in the microwave or au bain-marie and dip your bars in it.
8. Put them back in the freezer for a little bit until all the chocolate is hardened and after that you can store them in the fridge!
Nutritional info for one bounty bar; 144 kcal, 14.3g fat, 1.8g carbs, 1.1g protein