To my 65 followers, and many on-lookers,
It has been a long journey. It’ve been through a lot of shit over the past few months. Starting and ending my first relationship, dealing with a new job, friends and family issues, but most of all struggling to keep myself in shape.
Today is June 18th, I weighed in at 250.
My last check in weight while on Keto was 228. That was 4 months ago in February.
I was 3 lbs away from my 2nd goal weight.
Now I am 20 lbs away.
It’s been a tough couple of months.
I’ve made many, many, unsuccessful attempts at getting back into it. I’d spend days here and a week or so there, but nothing committal. Every time, coming up with a reason to binge on carbs or random junk food, saying that I’ll jump right back on it tomorrow.
Then tomorrow became the next day.
And the next day a week later.
And soon, I wasn’t on it at all.
But I was in the “cheat day” mentality still. Eating anything and everything I craved, adding the pounds back on with every bite of a donut and nutter butter. I didn’t realize how much it had effected me until I started to try and wear things that fit me well when I got them for “summer” earlier in the year. They fit then, so why not now?
Because I had gained back 20 lbs. of hard work
Now I’m not saying that if you stop Keto and low-carb eating, that you’ll automatically gain it back. I’m saying that if you chose to bring carbs back into your life, do it gradually, and healthy. You can have that sandwich for lunch, but you it’s not a reason to all of a sudden eat all the junk food again. That’s how you got there in the first place.
I thought that last week I was going big or going home. Went shopping, prepared all 3 meals, and then BAM- I got mono. I couldn’t eat for days and if I did it was a milkshake. A ketoer’s worst enemy. I had 3 in one day once to keep me eating.
Once I felt better, I wasn’t back on track.
I had that taste of sugar in my mouth and I started my usual “After such and such a date, I’ll start again, so I’ll eat everything I want now because I won’t be able to for a long time.”
Thus leads to this post. With a brand new box of nutter butters behind me, a box of snickerdoodle cookies and cinnamon buns on my bedroom floor, tacobell and mcdonalds wrappers stuffed in my corner, and empty milkshake cups on my night stand.
I have the resources, I have the food.
But in the end, it boils down to if I have the willpower.
Do I want this badly enough that I can make it a part of my life again.
I liked where I was headed. I may have backtracked a bit, but I
think know I can get back to that point.
It’s gonna be a struggle. I know that.
I can’t do the gym anymore, so it’s strictly up to my eating habits. And, I’m not going to lose as fast without the gym. I know that.
Goals are where I succeed. So here’s a goal for myself:
I have a week left of my leave of absence from work for my illness. I give myself one week to cut the shenanigans and figure out how this is going to play out. Do I want to commit to this, or maybe something different that’s not so restrictive.
You have one week Liz.
June 24th, 2013. Decision day.